I’m a starter, but not much of a finisher. It’s worked in my favor on occasion. At work I’ll begin a project, and then delegate it to someone to finish. It doesn’t always go so well because I’m pretty much a starter in all areas in my life. Today I tried to ski. I fell getting off the lift. I fell 10 feet later, another 10 feet after that, maybe 40 feet after that, and so on until I was close enough to the bottom to take off my skis and walk back to the flat terrain beyond the slope. Each time I fell I wanted to give up. I even cried at one point because I was so frustrated. This, of course, frustrated my husband which caused his encouragement to come out more as harassment to move out of the way of other skiers. 
I have a habit of giving up if I’m not instantly decent at something. I’m a pretty average person with no real discernible talent- I’m not looking for pity- so I don’t usually put expectations for perfection on the table, but I do like to be able to feel accomplished at the end of the day so I don’t usually see a problem with giving up on things that are difficult or seem impossible to me, because I usually don’t care enough about them to begin with and I’d rather use the energy on things that I feel more able to do.
Back to skiing. I went on this trip with my husband for his 30th birthday. I wanted to give skiing a try because he loves it. After going a few feet, freaking out, then falling (again and again and again) I was more than happy to be done. He’s afraid I’m not giving it a real shot. And while I’m happy he brought it to my attention because it led me to wondering how often I stop, drop and roll away from projects, this one may just stay down. It’s not something I would do often enough to make me want to get better.
But what about the things I care about? I want to leave my desk job to become a writer! I have a degree in writing. Most people with a degree in something get to call it their profession. “I’m a doctor.” “I’m a teacher.” “I’m an accountant.” The list goes on! But how can I call myself a writer if it’s not my profession? I’m an aspiring writer. There’s a statement to get my blood boiling. I’m 29 years old, and that’s about 10 years too old to be aspiring to do something I love and am decently talented at doing. 
So how do I solve my need to stop starting and start finishing? I’m making blogging a start. I also need to stop judging myself for my chosen content. It’s not fair to me that I view my work on makeup reviews as flippant and meaningless, especially when it’s just me causing that negativity in my own head. Life calls for seriousness so often. It’s ok that I want my free time to be spent reviewing oddly named beauty products. It’s what I am interested in, and it’s nice that I’m not the only one. 
That said, I still wonder when the next blog will be posted. When will I add another review? When will I let rejection stop playing a role in accomplishing my dreams? When will I stop stopping? Perhaps the best part is being able to start again whenever I’m ready. 🙂

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